2.11.10

Well hello my lovely ana! I have missed you intensely!
:)

Okay so I have dyed my hair red! It's awesome! I thought I would hate it, because I have never done anything with my hair before but turns out I love it!

Also, the bf is enlisting in the military... He is being swore in tomorrow and he is staying in milwaukee through friday. Also my sister ran away... so I've been depressed but the positive thing is I am super fueled for ana. I realized how much weight I have put on through my attempted recovery over the past couple years... never actually recovered but gained a good 20 pds! wtf!!!!!

anyways so I'm going to go visit my sister who is staying with my bff from grade school and we were always super competitive, she was always thinner than me. My sister tells me that we are around the same size right now but by the time spring break is here I should be able to loose 20 pds or so, it just depends on C. But he's leaving for basic training for 2 months over the summer so I'll be alone...I'll probably go crazy but I'll be thin I'm sure.

I really wanted to take laxatives today...C has been gone 1 night and I already wanna take lax. unbelievable. I didn't though. should have. but I didn't because I have to open at work tommorow and work 8 hours and yeah...that sucks

neway so I had 490 cals today... more than I want but a good start I suppose. I'm going to start at 300 cals and after I loose 10 pds I may bump it up to 500 or 600. Honestly its not that hard to eat nothing when you don't have food in your apartment and you are broke and don't buy food! story of my life! the only reason I got food today is because I'm at my mom's and she had chicken dumpling soup - it was ok... prob gonna purge it though.

well I'm taking a bath and then I'm gonna purge - then sleep. good luck to all!
<3